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finding out what it’s like to not work my life away

At the beginning of this year I quit my job of almost three years. Although I loved the people I worked with, and got an amazing discount on the cutest clothing and accessories, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I felt like a terrible mom because I couldn’t be at home making memories with my son on the weekends, and during the week we sometimes wouldn’t get home until 7pm, which would mean dinner and then right off to bed for the both of us. Don’t get me wrong, that kind of schedule works great for some families, but for us it just didn’t feel right anymore. Ever since last July, when I started to mis-carry while I was at work, I’ve had this slight sense of bitterness that I felt like I was always trying to fight off. I was there when I started to lose my baby, I just don’t think I have ever been able to get that out of the back of my mind. Even though it probably didn’t have anything to do with the reason I mis-carried, {and honestly I have so many feelings about our miscarriage that I’d love to get off my chest, but for now, one thing at a time..} the fact was…I was heartbroken, and it added to my long list of reasons to leave. A year went by and I was still feeling over stressed and sad about the schedule I was required to work. I missed birthdays, weddings, and even funerals in the time that I worked there. I just knew in my heart that if I wanted to be happy in my work and my home, it was time for me to find something new. So eventually, I did.

It’s so hard to quit something that is so familiar to you. Leaving that comfort zone is so unsettling. Training, learning a whole new system, trying to show new co-workers how freaking awesome you are 😉 … It’s hard!! I feel fortunate to have found a great new job, even though it has nothing to do with what I went to school for, I still feel like it has been a step in the right direction. I have felt this huge weight lifted off my shoulders and I think it came at the perfect time for myself and my family. In my spare time I want to do so many things but I’m not putting any pressure on myself. I’m hoping to just slow down, live loudly and not worry so much. How can you live so vibrantly and happy when you have so many things weighing you down? You can’t.

That, my friends, is what I’m learning about this year.

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